Customer Service
I just moved into a new apartment so now I’m really busy finding new corners to put my junk in and getting everything set up. A couple of days ago I needed to get the gas turned on. I’d been taking showers at my neighbor’s apartment for a couple of days so I figured I should hurry up and get it set up. The gas man came over and he was extremely terrified, partially because I was white and partially because he was so ashamed of his English. He had apparently been extremely nervous ever since he’d received the phone call saying he had a gaijin (foreigner) set up today.
I believe that when Japanese waitresses or other customer service people see a herd of gaijin coming, they play “Paper, Rocks, Scissors” to see who must help them. (“Paper, Rocks, Scissors” solves all problems in Japan. I bet the prime minister even resolves important national issues in this manner.) When one loses then they are indebted to you. But they will do all that is in their power to give you the best customer service in the world. I’m serious – they will go out of their way to ensure your complete and utter satisfaction. They will take the blame for everything too and treat you like royalty. I’ve never tried this, but I imagine if you were to buy some apples, eat all of them, and then return all the apple cores saying you weren’t satisfied, they would ask you for forgiveness at least 10 times, bow twice as many times and then re-supply you with apples and some extra bananas as a courtesy gift. They may even invite you over for tea so they can apologize and bow some more. The customer service is really quite amazing here.
Sometimes the service can be too good. If you ask a random Japanese person on the street for directions, they will most likely drop their busy schedule, call everyone listed on their phone until they learn the correct way. If you’re lucky they may even hail a cab and personally take you there. So I often don’t like to ask so as not to get them fired.
Back to the story. The gas man was extremely nervous. He kept wiping his brow and fidgeting. But once he got the gas turned on he showed me how to work EVERYTHING. The fact that my Japanese probably sounds like a kindergartener probably makes me look like a helpless moron. At one point, the gas man actually led me to my sink and I had the most surreal moment. I’ve got two faucet knobs – hot and cold. He turned on the hot one and put his hand in and told me to feel. “Hot! Hot!” he said. Then he turned the cold knob. “Cold! Cold!” He motioned and waited until I felt the cold water. Then he turned on the hot again and said, “Try again. Too hot!! Too hot!! Feel! Ow!” Yeah, it was too hot. “Aha!” he said raising his finger and showing me that there was a solution to this frustrating problem. Like a magician, he turned the hot knob just a little and then the cold knob just a little to make the water a comfortable warm. He made me feel again. “Yes, warm water. Thank you!” I was flabbergasted! Amazing. He wiped his brow and let out a sigh of relief. Finished! He made it! Even though I felt like a moron, I guess I’d take overdone customer service over bad service any day.
Now I’ve only got one more problem. How do I turn my faucet off?
I believe that when Japanese waitresses or other customer service people see a herd of gaijin coming, they play “Paper, Rocks, Scissors” to see who must help them. (“Paper, Rocks, Scissors” solves all problems in Japan. I bet the prime minister even resolves important national issues in this manner.) When one loses then they are indebted to you. But they will do all that is in their power to give you the best customer service in the world. I’m serious – they will go out of their way to ensure your complete and utter satisfaction. They will take the blame for everything too and treat you like royalty. I’ve never tried this, but I imagine if you were to buy some apples, eat all of them, and then return all the apple cores saying you weren’t satisfied, they would ask you for forgiveness at least 10 times, bow twice as many times and then re-supply you with apples and some extra bananas as a courtesy gift. They may even invite you over for tea so they can apologize and bow some more. The customer service is really quite amazing here.
Sometimes the service can be too good. If you ask a random Japanese person on the street for directions, they will most likely drop their busy schedule, call everyone listed on their phone until they learn the correct way. If you’re lucky they may even hail a cab and personally take you there. So I often don’t like to ask so as not to get them fired.
Back to the story. The gas man was extremely nervous. He kept wiping his brow and fidgeting. But once he got the gas turned on he showed me how to work EVERYTHING. The fact that my Japanese probably sounds like a kindergartener probably makes me look like a helpless moron. At one point, the gas man actually led me to my sink and I had the most surreal moment. I’ve got two faucet knobs – hot and cold. He turned on the hot one and put his hand in and told me to feel. “Hot! Hot!” he said. Then he turned the cold knob. “Cold! Cold!” He motioned and waited until I felt the cold water. Then he turned on the hot again and said, “Try again. Too hot!! Too hot!! Feel! Ow!” Yeah, it was too hot. “Aha!” he said raising his finger and showing me that there was a solution to this frustrating problem. Like a magician, he turned the hot knob just a little and then the cold knob just a little to make the water a comfortable warm. He made me feel again. “Yes, warm water. Thank you!” I was flabbergasted! Amazing. He wiped his brow and let out a sigh of relief. Finished! He made it! Even though I felt like a moron, I guess I’d take overdone customer service over bad service any day.
Now I’ve only got one more problem. How do I turn my faucet off?
posted by Denver at 12:52 AM
7 Comments:
there were days when i loved that kind of service...and days when it pissed me off totally! Still, when I get poor service over here in Scotland, I do miss the sincere but over-the-top Japanese way! Love the rock-scissors-paper GIPA (gaijin induced panic attack) part! I remember going to Hokkaido with two British friends and going to the rental car office - the woman behind the counter wanted to run and hide, eventually stuttering out very slowly, 'ni-hon-go dai-jou-bu desu ka?' My speed of reply in japanese put her at her ease and made her feel very silly! gaijins 1 japanese 0!
How hilarious, Denver. I love your blog because your posts always crack me up!
Sure wish we could get more service like that here in the US.
Hilarious, denver. I thought I'd get horrible service being back in America, but Nebraskans are nicer than I thought. There are "thank you"s and "your welcome"s coming at me right and left. Good people live in Nebraska. :)
That was awesome, Denver. Stinkin' hilarious! Thanks for sharing. If you don't figure out how to turn the faucet off before the end of April, Travis and I can try to help you... Have you tried using chopsticks?
I think I live in an opposite culture in Germany. In fact, I know I do. I don't even know if there are customer service areas in some stores! When you walk in a store, no one asks "Can I help you?" It's implied that you can help yourself. Maybe I should move to Japan.
Oh, yes, I heard that Japan had the best customer service. Japanese people seem to have the utmost respect for everyone. We can certainly learn from them!
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